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I'm sitting here at work listening to prank calls on my headphones and snorting my ass off, trying to be quiet but probably look like I�m seizing. This weekend I baked the fuck out of some desserts, I tell you what. I sure was impressing myself. I made blueberry cheesecake with blueberries that had been picked that morning (they said) which was kind of gamble cause I wasn�t totally sure how to do it but I made the cheesecake that I have memorized and then pureed a pint of blueberries with some cornstarch and then kind of spread it on top of the cheesecake batter and swirled it in. I thought about taking pictures of it, it was so gorgeous, but then I decided that was really nerdy so I am blogging about it instead which about ten times nerdier than taking a picture.

THEN I made lemon ice box pie which is like summer incarnate, I juiced the lemons and threw in a bit of zest and holy shit, it was good. I am noticing a theme here � cream cheese desserts and graham cracker crusts.

We�ve been watching Secrets of the Underworld on the History channel and it�s awesome, they go through the catacombs of Paris (who knew?? A whole frickin city is/was under there!!) and Hitler�s bunkers under Berlin. HOLY SHIT. Super fascinating and now I am going to read more about the world wars, or at least I want to righit now. I had been reading Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown but David hijacked it and that�s fine because it was so very sad. Last night I finished reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd which was gorgeous and wonderful and it sounds like an Oprah book selection, but you know what? Bite me. It was hard for me to read because it was about abandonment and brought old sadness to the surface and I could feel my heart hurt (haaate that) but it was cathartic and necessary, and she writes really well. It was a good, good book. I�m also reading Portnoy�s Complaint by Philip Roth and Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson, plus several lowbrow magazines. I always gots to be reading something but I can�t usually plow straight through one book, what I�m reading depends on what mood I�m in. Usually I�m in an Us Weekly kind of mood. My brother in law says it�s the gateway drug to the tabloids and he is probably right.

This blog by some guy I don�t know but he�s so funny it makes me seethe with jealousy, well, here is what he said about the Transformers movie.

Here are some things you can say if anyone asks if you saw the Transformers movie:

"No. I got laid once when I was a kid and that's about when I put away all of my GI Joes and stuff. Just haven't really kept up with it since."

"I was going to, but then I remembered I'm not twelve."

"I was going to, but then I remembered I'm not retarded."

"It can't possibly be as good as the book."

"Go fuck yourself."

If you can't remember any of those, a flying elbow to the face will work too.