2004-09-20
12:56 p.m.
I�m in the orifice today. There�s a huge bloody booger on the wall of a stairwell I frequent here at work. It�s been there for months and I gag every time I walk by it but I don�t want to call housekeeping and be all �I could easily clean this ridiculously grody booger off the wall but I�d rather have your minimum-wage-earning ass come do it instead since it is in your job description and everything.� I can�t alert housekeeping, and I can�t clean it off myself, so I will instead retch everytime I walk by it. Oh it is gross. There�s also new art in the baptismal at church that covers up the cheesy picture of Mt. Baker. I am petty and retarded because I have a problem with the new art. I just love that obnoxious picture of Mt. Baker; it has a certain Napoleon Dynamite quality to it. The new Miss America looks like a man, and her talent sucked too. It was down to Miss Alabama and Miss Louisiana. Louisiana was really pretty but not super bright. Alabama was compensating for her man-face by showing her midriff at every opportunity. When they were doing the crowning, Alabama was wearing a leopard-print halter ball gown. What the hell! The cut was beautiful, kind of Oscar de la Renta-y, but that was pretty much negated by the garish material. Louisiana was wearing a two piece dress (GROSS!) with a spangled top and a huge dumb bow in front on the bottom. My word. Really, both their talents were not, not good at all. I just love pageants! Miss Texas made it to the top ten but I think she got cut cause she had short hair. I really believe these kinds of things. They should have cut Miss Alabama for looking like a drag queen. On the Surreal Life they were supposed to play music with 5th graders. Dave Coulier and Brigitte Nielsen were assigned to play Wild Thing with 11 year old boys but Brigitte wasn�t playing anything, she was writhing around on the floor wearing her leopard (leopard again!) swimsuit and licking the dog while the little boys were just kind of staring. It was so wrong and so hilarious. Then she got up and took a nap in the middle of rehearsal, and they showed her curled up asleep holding her cigarettes. I was dying. Flavor Flav keeps saying �Flavor loves him some Brigitte Nielsen! I love you, big girl.� For some reason she doesn�t seem to mind being called big girl. Britney got married! She�s really gotten quite skanky.
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