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2004-09-15
10:26 p.m.

We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song! Hangin tough! We're rough! (Ruff! Ruff! Ruff)

Dave Eggers was on Conan the other night. Denise Richards and Matthew Broderick were too, and Denise looked SO BORED while Dave was talking, it was hilarious. The whole time she was on she talked about what a hot piece of ass she is, then Dave Eggers gets on there and was way over her dumb head. When he was done and they went to commercial you saw Denise look over at Matthew and raise her eyebrows, not even trying to hide a sigh as if to say who-was-that-noncelebrity-underling-god-that-was-boring. Matthew Broderick seemed to be into it though. Dave told the same stories he did at the reading and he was cutely witty and the right amount of fidgety to not seem too pretentious. I bet he could tell some funny stories about Denise backstage.

Pamela Anderson was on Letterman last night and she sure did touch her hair a lot. She seemed troubled, actually. Do you like the kinds of celebrity names I tell Tivo to record? Dave Eggers and Pamela Anderson, good combination.

I read that the cars Oprah gave away were donated by Pontiac. It pisses me off that Oprah could easily afford all those cars but let Pontiac pay for it instead. What if Oprah offered to pay for the cars and have them give they money directly to the factory line workers as a bonus, and Pontiac still got to get all that advertising for having been on her show? I don�t think Oprah uses her superpowers for good as much as she would have us believe. Lori Hacking�s mom was on yesterday and Oprah said "I�m giving $50,000 to the Lori scholarship fund" and everyone applauded and there were close-up shots of people smiling and shaking their heads at Oprah�s generosity. But Oprah makes $50,000 every two minutes. Why couldn�t she give a least a million? She just sat on her princess ass basking in the applause saying "$50,000 is the least I can give." Damn straight.

Isn�t it weird when someone�s turning left at a light but they don�t bother to pull into the intersection so that when the light is turning red they can be sure to make their turn after the oncoming cars have stopped? It seems a whole lot of people haven�t learned that trick. Dumbasses.




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stepha � 2006