2004-09-11
6:42 p.m.
Yesterday I was cleaning the refrigerator and I turned it off, then I forgot to turn it back on. This morning I drank milk and thought it wasn't very cold, then OH MY LORD the fridge has been off for 12 hours! Last week I read an article in Reader�s Digest about a lady who ate bad turkey and got food poisoning and promptly died. For about four hours I waited to get sick and my brain tricked my body into feeling bad and even my esophagus hurt like it does when you�re about to throw up and I held my boy and hoped this wasn�t the end and I was lying there praying that if this day is boring and uneventful I will be so grateful. So far it�s been uneventful. Yay! Except this was sort of eventful for a minute - we went to a birthday party for my friend-from-work�s-one-year-old which meant we knew no one there and everyone but us was wearing pleated khakis and button-up shirts and had cell phones on their belts and my attempts at conversation were falling flat so I was already having a grrrreat time. Then I was getting lemonade out of a big jug with a nozzle at the bottom when the nozzle thing flew off and lemonade started pouring out in copious sticky quantities and I shrieked. But nobody came to my rescue! I said "um, help? The nozzle fell off" and the khaki crowd just stood there. Butt nachos! Help the stranger who already has tried to make friends with your plaid asses. They all knew each other and I knew no one, and their not getting up to help made me feel extra dumb. They had probably sensed my disdain for pleats and that�s why they were being icy; I deserved it. Or they were jealous that my shoes were awesome and theirs sucked. I was filling cups one after the other and you wouldn�t believe how fast that lemonade was coming out. They said, while still seated, "What did you do?" I don�t know, it flew off! I�m retarded! Help! "Did you see where it went?" On the ground? Shit! Right now Arkansas is playing Texas. The only two teams I give a flying royal rip (I heard a youth pastor/motivational speaker guy say that in 9th grade, flying royal rip) about. I hate football but I love the Razorbacks. I�m here because Arkansas just scored two points for Texas and it was so sad I can�t take it. I want one of these. But can I justify bringing video games into my house? I just don�t know. My brother had a chronic problem with them and I kind of don�t want them in my home because they remind me of him throwing controls and breaking furniture. I sound like I�m talking about a ouija board or porn or something. "I don�t want that in my home." Maybe it�s a sign I should get one.
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