2004-09-13
10:51 a.m.
My name is Stephanie and I like to watch Oprah. I will admit she is possibly the antichrist (as David Drury says) and is definitely the pied piper of modern middle-aged American sheepwomen (as Judy Tenuta says) but I love watching her show and I check her site every Monday to see what's on, then I go to tivo.com and tell it which ones to record. (Lori Hacking's mom, yes! Usher surprising fans, no. Jocelyn Wildenstein, the lady who got plastic surgery to make herself look like a cat, yes! Barry Manilow and Barbara Walters, no. Christmas giveaway, a million times yes!) I have to say that when I type "oprah.com" I feel a bit of self-respect slip away. Then I wonder if I'm just wondering what people would say. But screw it. I want to see some pop culture in action. And where else can you see someone with so much self-hatred and so much ego at the same time? It's touching.
So here's what the site said about the season premiere today: The wait is over! It's the season premiere�and it's big. There's an emergency medical team standing by�just in case anyone faints! It's a brand-new season�all will be revealed�an all-new Oprah! Emergency medical team! Is the audience gonna be biting heads off turkeys and humping each other from behind?
Someone just opened some cold Chinese food here in the office and I'm telling you, it smells like a diaper full of shrimp.
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