2004-09-02
3:14 p.m.
Yesterday I was driving to the doctor and this lady got really mad at me in traffic. I was turning around totally illegally and I was trying to do it real quick when she pulled up and shook her head and then wagged her finger at me. I tried to wave her by but she threw her hands up in the air at my ineptitude. Then I tried my usual trick of waving real perky so she�ll think she might know me and then be embarrassed at freaking out, but her black ass was so obviously not friends with my whitebread ass and I could see right away that wasn�t going to work. She kept waving real angry-like for me to go through so I pulled in front of her super slow and took my time while she was behind me. Oh so passive-aggressive am I! Let her think my Texas flag bumper sticker means I like George W. Then when I pulled into my parking lot she followed me! Shit! Thanks to Jesus in the sky I found a space while she was still looking for one and ran out of there. In the doctor�s office the butchest nurse in the free world was wearing her fabulous feathered mullet in a ponytail! We went to see Dave Eggers last night. He had some groupies on the front row. I�m not sure why they like him because they weren�t in his demographic and they didn�t seem very smart. One asked him what he would be for Halloween (condiment man, with goggles), and he asked her what she would be, and she said "umm, like, a scary ice dancer." David talked to him for a minute and Dave told him to send him some of his writing. He gave him his email address and said "don't be giving that out to people." Hmm, now that we have his coveted email address what should we do with it? Send him a lot of attachments? One of those forwards that has an angel shape spelled out in x�s and says "here is your guardian angel"? A ton of stories favored by my mom about sad little orphans with cancer who need you to pray so that the astronauts can put all the prayers in a bag and send them up to heaven so the angels can hear them better?
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