2004-04-09
9:51 p.m.
Today I was driving to Ikea in the commuter lane, which I�m always wary of doing when I have the boy along because it doesn�t look like I have anyone else in the car and I�m afraid someone�s going to 764-HERO me. But it was noon and traffic sucked so I got in the commuter lane and was much happier until a minivan came up behind me. I was doing about 80 but I was still slowing him down and there was no way to get over cause the cars were, like, stacked together in the next lane. The minivan behind me was full of yuppie guys in white shirts and ties and they probably weren�t Mormons cause they were getting really noticeably agitated that I was in their way. They were probably coming back from a power lunch involving alcohol and were excited because it�s Friday and tonight they�re going to go to clubs filled with skanky chicks who wear their thongs riding up out of their jeans. I was listening to Travis� Good Feeling album and it was all happy and perky while these guys were right on my ass wanting me to get over. I felt for them because I was obviously this girl driver with a Texas bumper sticker (inbred hick) who didn�t look like she had anyone else in the car (definitely an inbred) and I was going too slow (for them) in the commuter lane and wouldn�t squeak dangerously in between the cracks in the wall of cars in the regular lane (mainly because I had a baby in the car, which they couldn�t see, not that it would have mattered to them). The music was going "Look at all the people, they all look fiiiiine�", the irony, and in my rearview mirror I saw the guy in the passenger seat giving me two thumbs up. Those couldn�t have been thumbs though, they had to be fingers, the middle ones. Boy, they really wanted to get their strip club on. God mercifully parted the wall of traffic next to me and I nudged in and ignored them as they passed, hoping they saw the boy in the carseat as they drove by so they�d know I wasn�t being totally stupid by being in their godforsaken commuter lane. I hate, HATE testosterone mixed with traffic, it's the most juvenile thing ever.Then I took the wrong exit because I�m a mongoloid which was double hell in all the traffic but I somehow got turned back around and got the boy a wooden choo-choo train set and escaped with spending only $66, by far the least I�ve ever spent at Ikea. Hooray. We saw The Ladykillers tonight. It was really very nice and good.
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