2004-07-15
2:15 p.m.
Isn't "brown" another name for heroin? I've been having some UPS-inspired fun. I ordered something a couple weeks ago and UPS shipped it to the entirely wrong address! I only found this out by checking the tracking #, it was delivered to some office on Western Ave a week ago. I've been on the phone with them, trying to project controlled rage and patient fury. Those fuckers! I will get them one day. Bethany found this on Craigslist and thought we could all pitch in, as a gift for Hammerhead. Hammerhead loves wuves. David is doing the Iron Composer, which is like the Iron Chef except it involves songwriters trying to write songs whilst being distracted. It calls itself "A Live Real-Time 60 Minute Songwriting Competition, Drinking Game, and Obstacle Course." The obstacles include doing a shot every 10 minutes, and while they�re writing an Asian guy holding a dildo tries to engage them in conversation. The "secret ingredient" used each night will be a person randomly chosen from the audience. Information culled from that person about their present state of affairs or their past will be material from which the composers can draw inspiration for their song submission. Yee haw! Once in Dallas I lived for a couple months (while trying to 'find my footing', which never happened for me in that particular city) with a 40 year old single female computer programmer who was my parents' friend. Every day she wore a shirt with Winnie the Pooh on it and when she got home she immediately took her pants off. Once she woke me up late at night and said "there's a smudge of chocolate on the wall here. You need to clean it up." I had to go into the kitchen and wipe off the little bit of chocolate. It was so dumb. John Edwards has got some really bad hair.
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