2007-05-28
12:07 a.m.
I'm reading brian Wilson's autobiography and I can hardly put it down but I'm only halfway through so far. It's so weird to hear everything behind all these songs I know so well, they remind me of vacation cause we used to always listen to them on vacations growing up. I didn't know Good Vibrations was considered so esoteric when he wrote it, it's always sounded pop-py to me but listening to it again it is a mini-symphony like he said he thinks of it. It's hard to read about his home life growing up. I wonder if he would have been so driven to make the kind of music he did if he hadn't had the family he did. It seems like he probably wouldn't have. and then there would be no Beach Boys. I wonder a lot of the time about the ways I would be different if my parents had been nicer people. David says I would be boring. (implying he doesn't think I'm boring now, hurrah) But I know people who seem to have 'easy' lives with no marked trauma and they're sort of deep and patterened and interesting and can ask hard questions. But I also know people who have had hard lives and are uninteresting or detached or worse, basically delusional, and i know people who have suffered little and who aren't willing to think about stuff that isn't right in front of them, and they don't seem to want to try for any self-awareness, don't want to see the truth about themselves. I hope i want to see the truth about myself. It's hard and it's ugly. I think you have to face it though because that's owning up to the truth and there's beauty in truth. I really don't want this to have dissolved into a bunch of cliches! Hmm.. You know what southern expression I like a lot? "He's as dumb as a box of hair."
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