2006-12-20
10:12 a.m.
In the spirit of McSweeneys Recommends I want to recommend Excedrin. It will take your headache and squash it all to hell. I also advocate getting lattes at 130 degrees. You will feel like an anal soccer mom ordering it that way, but sometimes you just gotta drink your coffee, you can�t be waiting two hours so it won�t scald your callow mouth parts. Hm, what else? Ooh! Pedialyte for hangovers. Works like a freaking charm. I learned that from a Metallica interview.
I highly recommend unplugging the singing penguin that is on top of your Bavarian coworker�s cube. It is motion activated and when someone walks by the penguins sing �Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way� and then a dog barks �oh what fun it is to ride�� When no one was looking I hid the power cord in a plant. I learned that from Angela on The Office.
Do you remember these Ayds things from the eighties? Highlarious! The commercial would go �I got skinny from Ayds.� My mom used to have these and we would always want to eat them cause they looked like candy but she wouldn�t let us. A crazy old lady I used to work with (Hammerhead) had some version of Ayds-type caramels, this was only a couple years ago. She would shovel them down her throat and I would ask her why didn't she just take a bunch of meth.
Carrie said �That is the funniest thing I've ever heard of because
why not just eat real candy?? You know what else I call an appetite suppressant? FOOD!�
Dave Canwell said: �They just announced on the radio that the school for the deaf is closed today. The crawler at the bottom of the screen on the tv simultaneously showed that the school for the blind is closed. I venture to guess that both will show up at school today.�
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