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Last night Carrie and Becca and Jason came over to watch Project Runway but at 8:30 I put the kidlets to bed and I must have crashed on my way back upstairs because I woke up in our bed at 2 am wearing my work clothes and wondering what had happened. Roofie? Narcolepsy? Gnomes? Baby corn? So I watched it at 2 am because I didn�t want TV to be disappointed with me. My new television obsession is Weeds. I call it my obsession having only seen the pilot (disturbing yet riveting and I will not feel better till I watch more).

I have to talk about therapy for a minute. Cause it�s really difficult, and really expensive. $2 a minute! It�s more expensive than half an hour in Anthropologie, and there�s no high. But I�m getting radder by the second so it�s worth it, right? My TheRapist just told me that counseling breaks down the way you view the world and rebuilds it, and it�s painful to face reality, and not many people do it. I didn�t know this before I started. But it�s good. Anyway, I don�t really know anyone else doing this same thing and I need a comrade along this journey. In college my boyfriend always said I was the toughest girl, and I was, but now I�m finding out I was walling off a bunch of stuff and I�m actually not tough. David hides the World Vision mail before I can see it cause it makes me cry to see the starving children. Last week we had a big group session with the guy who was super harsh disciplining his little boy and I cried so much that the next morning one of my eyes was swollen half-shut like Thom Yorke. David said I should call in sick (it looked that bad) and for some reason I wasn�t vain enough to stay home but tried to make my hair cover that eye all day and when people saw me up close they were like �are you okay?� Crap. But I�m getting healthy and my kids will benefit and I will love them well and that�s what matters.

On the bus this morning I was thinking of my favorite album titles. The top three are

Handsome Boy Modeling School �White People�
Supergrass �In It For The Money�
Smog �Dongs of Sevotion�