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2006-06-28
10:47 a.m.

I can�t get enough of these fundamentalist movie reviews! The one for Nacho Libre says in the profanity section: �Nacho says �dang� and calls a man a �douche.�� For drug and alcohol content it says �People drink wine at a party.� Would they cite Jesus for drinking wine? These people are fucked up. I love when under drug and alcohol content they say �Man smokes a cigarette.� For violent content they said �Nacho loses control of his �tricycle� and wrecks on the side of the road.� HAHAHAHA! Oh the carnage! I love that tricycle was in quotes.

I made Martha Stewart�s macaroni and cheese and it was so good I about fell over. I would post the recipe here but I don�t think I know anyone else that cooks, not anyone who reads this anyway. The Martha Stewart version has buttered bread crumbs on top and gruyere, cayenne and nutmeg in it and I thought the kidlets would love it but they refused. They�re used to the fluorescent orange chemical kind. David ate it all instead. He calls it Macaroni Narcissus (in honor of Martha). You know how in Canada they call macaroni and cheese Kraft Dinner? �Would you like some Kraft Dinner?� It sounds like something Flanders would say.

Does anyone know the lyrics to Tuesday Heartbreak? I�m singing them all wrong but I have no idea what he�s saying.

Quote from Carrie: �I just got my hair done and now I look like JonBenet Ramsey.�

We picked up David from the airport this morning. He brought Judah a Gollum keychain and Judah was like ��thanks?� I guess Gollum is pretty scary when you�re four. Now I�m at work and I just got caught doing Judah�s weird dance in the hall, it�s kind of a skip while doing jazz hands and I think it�s funny. I was doing it in the empty hall and suddenly the dishy Indian guy from IT appeared and now I am ashamed.

We�re camping with Lara and Jason this weekend and Lara sent this email about our campsite

Change of plans: we are NOT camping at rainbow falls, we are camping at millersylvania state park. i think i wanted to camp at rainbow falls, but it is first come first serve. Millersylvania State Park is an 842-acre camping park with 3,300 feet of freshwater shoreline on Deep Lake. The park, filled with trails, is abundant in old-growth cedar and fir trees. Millersylvania was constructed almost entirely by hand in 1935 by the Civilian Conservation Corps. there are tons of hiking trails around too. Located ten miles south of Olympia, Wash., on the state's western side.
David edited it and sent this back:
We are not camping at Rainbow Fag Falls or Molestervania! My faux pas! We are actually nestling in a quaint turn of the century internment camp located on the coin slot of Ass Treasure lake. Settlers first raped the land in 1812 after a good Injun slaughterin'. The hillsides are enrobed in hiking trails that are marked by endless stretches of half-buried rusty barb wire that tickle the land. Make a log raft out of one of the countless felled telephone poles and row out to Mossy Taint Island. Or take turns skipping oily bird carcases across the water. Eight skips without sinking earns you a chance to piss on your competitor's socks...unless that fatass can make NINE SKIPS, the local record. Then it's your socks that get yellowed. Because of the bears, you will need to bury your food and keep any loose stools in a refrigerated box. You can easily identify our most regular bear vistor Mister Briny Stench, by his curious smell, and by his unusual fur, which is matted with maxi pads, used toilet paper, pages of Hustler and sticky blue gobs of 1000-flushes concentrate. That Nosy Bear!


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stepha � 2006