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2006-02-15
4:49 p.m.

The thing about this here quiz thingy is it pretty much only has flattering adjectives, which means I can fearlessly ask you to judge me.

Us Weekly says Jessica cheated on Nick with that ass clown from Maroon 5! I don't want to believe it! I thought Nick was the one who cheated. Oh Us Weekly, are you telling me the truth? Tabloids, I can't live with or without you. My friend Daniel from Houston used to think Bono was singing "We flow without you" and he even knew the name of the song was With or Without You. I think he was rad for admitting that.

Heather Belle and Dave sent me five pounds of circus peanuts for my birthday. Five pounds, bitches! I'm in orange color no. 4 heaven!!

Today David got a call that went like this: "Congratulations! We're going to publish one of your short stories in a Best Christian Fiction Writing compilation! But first we need your permission to remove the word 'goddamn' from your story." I find this funny, or ironic, not sure which. Well, definitely both. For those of you who don't quite get Christian subculture, let me explain for you beacause I was raised (actually steeped and marinated) in it (I'm a preacher's kid from the Bible belt and everything - my parents are right-wing Pres. Bush-lovers Bill Clinton-haters who have never tasted alcohol, all that). Everyone knows that saying goddamn in front of a Christian is probably going to offend them, but here are my problems with that:

1. The third commandment that says "don't blaspheme the name of the Lord your God" refers to hiding a life of selfishness behind the facade of following God, which is way different from the common conception that blasphemy is saying 'goddamn' when you whack your finger with a hammer.
2. I believe the Bible continually makes the point that God would rather have us be angry at him than to be apathetic towards him. I believe he invites us to be angry at him if we feel angry, rather than pretending to be happy and okay with everything. He'd rather us feel passion and be in true relationship with him rather than be lukewarm.
3. As far as getting offended, I don't think Jesus ever got offended. He got pissed off, but he wasn't like "don't say that, that offends my sensitivities." I think he took people seriously and appreciated them expressing themselves and didn't look for the bad in things but instead saw brokenness and hurt behind people's actions that Christian culture (in those days, the Pharisees) otherwise got offended by. I hope I'm explaning myself well enough here.
Wow, I don't often go off like that about serious stuff. This blog is usually for discussing delicious nougaty confections or to report celebrity schadenfreude or link fun internet shopping. So: these are radical.


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stepha � 2006