2005-11-14
12:44 p.m.
I�m in the orifice today. Carrie told me she wrote a song called �Oops, Wrong Orifice� � if that�s not intriguing I don�t know what is. As soon as I got here Alecia gave me a Godiva truffle! We�re off to a roaring start. I�m wearing liquid eyeliner today and I�m not sure why, I never wear it to the office but my hair turned out kind of boufy and sixties and I thought this called for eyeliner and now that I�m at work I feel vaguely conscious of it. My other dilemma today is whether or not to see the Dandy Warhols tonight. It�s $23 at the door and that�s 1/3 of a bottle of Chanel foundation. But it�s the Dandys! But what if they suck live and fall from the pedestal I have them on? If it were a weekend it would be different but on a Monday it�s too loud and I�m too old.
I hurt my back last week and it hurts if I breathe in really big. I�ve been lying on bags of frozen peas to no avail. I�m afraid of it being a spontaneous pneomothorax. Working in the ER will turn you into a hypochondriac.
Saw Ali G 2nd season last night. He gave a commencement speech at Harvard. It would have been better if nobody laughed but almost everyone was onto him. Borat did say some very inappropriate stuff and showed some very inappropriate pictures that made me cover my face, it was so embarrassing to watch, but in the good way.
I would like to have two dogs named Stedman and Gayle King. Carrie wants to say �Stedman, will you quit rubbing your boner on the carpet?� My boss is walking around the office whistling like R2D2. I bought Ashlee Simpson�s �Boyfriend� song and it was the best 99 cents I�ve spent all year so you can suck it.
The quote of the day is by David: �Uh oh, this is the week we don�t listen to KEPX. It�s the pledge drive.�
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