2005-05-10
1:51 p.m.
Mother effin Qwest still has not delivered my land line so I don�t have TiVo so I missed Oprah�s startling revelation about her and Stedman�s dark secret. What was it, did anyone see it yesterday?
The more I think about how my parents were so mad that I didn�t send flowers for Mother�s Day, the more I want to invest in a Fecalgram. I think it would be just the thing. It arrives on their doorstep looking like this:
and when they open it: 
I was just under the covers listening to Ben Folds on my iPod and I had those chill things you get when you�re impressed because he�s such a freaking genius.
Congratulations to my dear friend Eli Ann on the birth of Meredith Ellis! What a remarkable bow on her head. She�s from Texas, she�s gotta represent. 
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