2005-05-05
12:30 p.m.
We have no TiVo right now because we have no home phone service right now, and I am bereft and discombobulated. I missed America�s Next Top Model last night and also American Idol (who got kicked off? On each show? Who?!) and have been waiting with baited (how do you spell that in this context?) breath for my new phone service which I ordered online five days ago and is supposed to get connected today. I forgot what time they said they�d install it so I did an online chat thing with Qwest (cool!) and in the spirit of kristintracy I�m copying it here to display their ineptitude.
Thank you for using Qwest.com. A Sales and Service Consultant will be with you in a moment. Currently, your estimated wait time is 0 minutes and 6 seconds.
Welcome to the Qwest.com live chat service. My name is John. May I please have your name?
you: Stephanie Dillhole
John: Hello, how may I help you?
you: I just moved and the other day I scheduled someone to come out and switch over our phone service - problem is, I forgot what time they'll be here.
John: May I please have your primary telephone number?
you: 206-545-2462
John: Just to verify that I am speaking with the responsible party on this account, please provide me with your Qwest billing account code (the last three digits of Qwest account number on your bill) or the last four digits of your Social Security number.
you: Okay, that's under my husband's name so lemme grab a bill real quick
you: the last 4 digits of his SSN are 8942
John: That is not the Social Security Number assigned to this account.
you: Uh oh. It might be under mine - my last 4 digits are 8463
John: The address at which this service exists is 100 Hasenpfeffer Ave N. in Seattle. Is that the current address?
you: That's the address we moved from, yes.
you: We're at a different address now and that's where we need service at.
John: There is no order on this account to transfer service.
you: I made the request online on Sunday...
John: Did you place the order as a transfer of service or as if you were setting up a completely new account?
you: I placed the order as a transfer of service
John: Because there's no order at all in our systems for this account.
John: Again, there's no order at all in our systems for this account.
you: Hmmm
you: Okay, I would like to place an order
John: Please click here to transfer your Qwest telephone services.
you: Thanks mon frere
John: Thank you for using Qwest.com. If you need further assistance, you can find a Chat button when you click here or call 1-800-244-1111. To close this chat, please just click the "X" at the top right of your chat window. After you have closed the chat, please take a few moments to provide us with your feedback.
I called and told them that I placed a transfer order online five days ago and have been waiting with such excitement, and now I�m sad because my phone is not getting connected today. They said "Placing a transfer order online is not the best way to go because it�s such a complicated process." I said "The website didn�t say that. The website said that transferring my order online would be fast, easy and convenient." They said "Well, the website isn�t going to say that it�s not the best way to go." To which I say "Well, it should!" And now I have to wait FIVE MORE DAYS TO GET MY TIVO BACK!
And here is a graphic of Janis the Satisfied Qwest Customer. Oh she makes me mad!
What is this gunk on Katie Holmes face? I hope Tom Cruise has it too. That would be so Spinal Tap.
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