2004-12-13
2:15 p.m.
This won�t be uplifting. I got in a big fight with my dad on the phone. He was talking about how my brother and sister haven�t been home for Christmas for four years, and that they never call. I said, per usual, that if he and mom could absolutely reconcile the relationship if they wanted to, and then he hung up on me. I emailed him and told him I couldn't stop crying and that he must have no idea how much he hurt me and that the worst part was that I didn't feel he even cared that he had hurt me. I got an email from him a few hours later where he told me that I am listening to the wrong god, and that he and mom pray that God will deal with me severely for the way that I am treating them, then he told me to �zip it.� So I�m a bit of a wreck. I feel like he doesn�t care if he throws away his relationship with me, like he has with my brother and sister. I�m starting to realize that my brother and sister aren�t talking to my parents at least partly for the sake of protecting themselves, and I'm beginning to realize that I expect my parents to have a change of heart. Because how can you not talk to your kids? I keep thinking they'll change their minds and fix it, but maybe they never will. When I got that email, David called my dad and woke him up and told him he couldn�t talk to me like that. Yay Davy. I was reading Psalm 10 yesterday and it said that God will be a helper to the fatherless. That made me feel better. I need help. I need therapy. I need God, not the political church. Hey, Merry Christmas!
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