2004-12-06
10:49 a.m.
A wise woman once said
�I�m seriously thinking about punching my brother in the face.� That woman was Carrie, and I�m feeling that way about my sister. Our mom had surgery this morning and my sister didn�t even know because she never talks to my parents. She got married last July (like, July 2003, not July this year) and hasn�t talked to them since the wedding. She didn�t tell them when they bought a house, she didn�t tell them they got a dog, nothing. I only know these things because I�m the one that emails and calls and she never tries to find me. That part makes me really sad too but there�s nothing I can do. She�s mad as a hornet and nobody�s sure why. Her husband recently sent my parents a letter that said �Enjoy watching Stephanie�s kids grow up, because you�ll never see ours.� Really now. She�s got my brother mad at my parents too and neither of them have been home for any holidays or even called for four years. It hurts my heart every day and makes me cry hot bloody tears. I�m sad that our parents let it go on; I don�t think they�re blameless at all and I know they could take steps to mend this. I have issues with our parents too but it�s something I�m going to have to let God take care of because I�ve done more than enough on my own to bring them back together. I got to thinking last night how my sister didn�t even know about our mom�s condition, so I called her (she lives in Chicago) and we talked for awhile and I told her mom was having surgery today and she said �Oh, really?� Didn�t even ask what kind, nothing, she doesn�t care. I shouldn�t expect her to, but I do expect her to on some level. There�s the rub. Half of the time it�s all I can do, more than I can do, to stay copasetic with her and my brother and my parents because I think they�re all being so horrible to each other, but this here situation we�re in is so dire I could never do that to my family. But my parents and sister are willing to never talk to each other again until they die. They�ve each told me that. It makes me so sad I can hardly bear it.
Still can�t sleep.
I get in the office and yammer away about stupid crap, I know I annoy my coworkers to death but I can't shut myself up.
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