2003-12-29
8:45 a.m.
The flights home were crazy! I mean, they stayed up in the air, which is all I really care about. But after being spoiled by the upgrade to business class on the flight down, I was resentful of being back with the commoners in the tiny economy seats. Business class is heaven. I'd never had it before and it is truly that Seinfeld situation where once you fly it you can't go back. I immediately reclined my buttery seat all the way back and passed out (and consequently missed out on the free alcohol, dang it).But coming back there were delays and more delays and they ended up flying us to Chicago where we had a 4 hour layover, then a 4 hour flight to Seattle where I was sandwiched between a Mormon and a hyper toddler (my toddler, that'll teach me to travel without baby Benadryl) and we didn't get home till 4 am Texas time. While waiting to leave we saw a lady stumbling around the terminal who looked like an extra-leathery Courtney Love. She had the same buggy eyes and coked-out demeanor, and wouldn't you know it, she was on our flight. During the flight she was yelling at the guy she was with and I was sort of afraid they'd have to taze her. This was in the middle of the night, when the cabin was dark and everyone was either trying to sleep or watch the movie, and she was yelling at him to "Take this, turn it sideways and STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!" Another disconcerting event took place when a stewardess ran from the back of the plane up to the cockpit. That freaked my shit out. They're not supposed to do that, are they? They're supposed to act really calm even if they get threatened or hear an engine go out, right? Thank the good Lord it turned out to be nothing.
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